SEX TRICK, SAMPLE 2

Anilingus
Sex Trick #09
written April 2001, revised March 2009

Anilingus is the act of licking someone's anus.  Anilingus is also called a "rim job" and "ass-munching," and isn't one of the more popular sexual activities. Though anilingus can be very pleasant, even orgasm-inducing for the recipient, there are several reasons people may give for not including it in the list of the services they enjoy performing or receiving:

• The anus isn't generally considered a sexual apparatus.
• The anus is generally associated with defecation, and is therefore avoided during sex to respect the partner's sense of privacy.
• The anus is generally associated with defectaion, thus licking the anus is associated with eating feces, or a desire to do so.
• Many people have ventured to lick their partner's anus, only to be discouraged by their partner's discomfort or unpleasant odor, and tend to avoid that region to avoid repeating the experience.

In spite of these objections, there's a large minority that not only practice anilingus, but are rather passionate about it.  In this essay, I will share first-hand experiences that I have learned from.  I was once a detractor from anilingus, and now I am a proponent.  I will share information to help beginners feel more comfortable with the act, as well as techniques to try.

Why would anyone want to lick someone's ass?

I can't speak for anyone who claims to have been "born with" the desire to lick butt-holes, but for me it started with affiliation.  I discovered cunnilingus (licking pussy) all on my own at a young age with one of my sister's older school friends. I remained passionate about it ever since. But through my adolescence, even though I had highly developed fantasies and made literally hundreds of erotic comic books, I never had fantasies of licking an anus.  In fact, when I discovered hardcore pornographic videos at 17, I remember being turned off at seeing a woman's anus during an intercourse scene (and it was Traci Lords!).
     As much as I loved cunnilingus, I never had many opportunities to practice it until I was dating my future wife in college, thus close-up exposure to the anus didn't happen very often. Since cunnilingus was pretty much what our dating was, I began to see her little pucker looking up at me as I slurped away at her clit. She was a virgin, and surprisingly enthusiastic about learning. I'd make her cum 2 to 3 times, then the date ended. This went on for a few months before we did anything else of a sexual nature.
     I loved the sight and feel of her buttocks, and I loved the sight, taste and feel of her pussy--so after a couple years, I couldn't help but appreciate her anus as well. When things down below were clean and clear, I began dipping a bit lower with my tongue on occasion. If she was very stimulated, she didn't mind.  If I went there early in the game, she sometimes protested, feeling self-conscious.
     I've heard this same story from homosexuals.  With males, they report that their affection for the buttocks, scrotum and penis help them appreciate making oral contact with the anus as well--whether or not they enjoy anal intercourse (not all gay men do).  Likewise, a very close friend of mine discovered she was a lesbian at the age of 30.  Before her epiphany, she told me she wanted to play with a woman's breasts, but believed she could never put her mouth on a woman's clit.  After finding herself as well as a regular female sex partner, she still reported not enjoying performing cunnilingus. Two years later, when I asked her what was new in her repertoire, she had become passionate about giving oral.  After one more year, she told me with a smile that she and her wife now enjoy frequent anal experimentation, including anilingus.  It's hard to love the genitals and buttocks, but ignore the landmark inbetween.  Over time, you just warm up to it.

But the anus isn't a sexual apparatus!

This is what I call the physical objection, claiming the anus and rectum have no sexual function.  Well, many people, even some doctors, think the appendix has no function--but it does.  The anus, whether male or female, actually participates in orgasms, contracting and pulsing while the genitalia proper have their spasms.  The anus does contain erogenous sensory nerve endings.  One shouldn't wrestle too hard with the truth that the anus is a sexual sensor, and not just a waste outlet, when one considers how widely we all accept another waste outlet as a sex sensor--the penis.
     The anus is one of the body's largest and strongest sphincters.  It is in very close proximity to internal and external sexual organs. The anus is correctly viewed as the last stop on the digestive highway, but it is both sensitive to touch in good and bad ways.  Aside from the external sex appendages, men and women both have internal erogenous components: the prostate and G-spot, respectively. Also, the penis actually begins behind the scrotum, immediately adjacent to the anus.  If a man is able to relax mentally and allow his anus to be licked, he may find a rim job alone to cause erection.
     For women, the nerve network to which the clitoris belongs actually extends internally around the vagina, with sensitive spots toward the bladder (the G-spot) and toward the anus and rectum.  When the clitoris is well stimulated it expands and becomes more sensitive, causing even the anus to be receptive to stroking or licking.  In fact I have made women have orgasms with anilingus alone.
     Those who present the physical argument against anilingus would be shocked to find out that only a very small minority of practitioners have fecal obsessions.  It is actually the physical pleasure derived from the act that motivates them.  The soft, wet stroking of a tongue across the anus during masturbation results in very powerful orgasms.  If you watch Lindsey's Anal Training Movie Series here at Firegirls.com, you can watch Lindsey's first time experiencing anilingus.  You will notice that not only does she enjoy it, but she comes very hard.  Before the experimentation, she was opposed to anal stimulation, but volunteered for the anal training in order to make an objective documentary from an "anal virgin's" viewpoint.
     I have engaged in anilingus with ten women, with their permission, each of which enjoyed it.  I also tried digital penetration with six of them, each of which had strong orgasms, including G-spot orgasms.  The tricky part is getting the partner to accept either act.  If properly stimulated, it may be welcome.  If the partner is mentally or physically unprepared, not only can it be irritating, but can kill the mood and end all of your fun.
     Beyond exterior (anal) stimulation, penetration of the anus (rectal) actually results in considerable physical stimulation.  Males experience stimulation through the manipulation of the prostate and the base of the penis, whereas females experience direct stimulation of the posterior end of the clitoris, and even the indirect stimulation of the anterior (G-spot).  Even if there is no penetration into the rectum, forceful licking of the anus presses the rectal tissues against the prostate or G-spot, which can be very satisfying.  The tongue is perhaps the most comfortable object one can use to press against the anus, as other items may be irritating--rougher, harder or dry.

Tips for getting started

Get beyond the poo.  To perform anilingus, you need to get over the fact that the anus is part of defecation and even farting.  Don't imagine your partner doesn't poop and fart.  Penis and pussy lovers usually have no problem forgetting about urination.  This is natural, because when aroused, it is the sexual function of these parts that dominate one's imagination.  But such can also be the case with the anus.  During oral sex, people do commonly ingest trace amounts of urine from the surface of the organs.  Likewise, an invisible amount of fecal matter is ingested during anilingus.

Be clean.  If the anus and butt cleavage is clean, just about any external play should be safe.  Washing beforehand with soap and water, or at least a wet, hot washcloth is the best way to be clear of dried perspiration, bacteria, feces and/or mucous around or near the anus.  For rougher or prolonged anilingus, the recipient should be sure the rectum is also clear of fecal matter before sex.
     With females, there's an easy way to check to see if the rectum is clear. A finger can be inserted (lubricated) into the vagina, and stroke gently along the backside of the vagina to feel the rectum. If the rectum feels flat against the tailbone, it's empty. If it feels solid and rigid, there's feces in the rectum.  Even a small amount of fecal matter can be felt through the vagina.  If you tell your partner that you're probing her pussy to feel for turds in her rectum, she'll probably lose the mood--so it's best done quickly, gently, and during cunnilingus.
     My sound advice is to not proceed with anilingus unless there is no doubt about cleanliness, or if your partner is asking for it.

Be clear.  Pubic hair, like it or not, is a flavor saver.  Sometimes, no matter how well you wash, the pubic hair can retain trace amounts of the debris it marinates in day after day, and can still hold odor after washing.  Pubic hair can also grow to lengths that obstruct the view or even access to the anus.  It also gets in the giver's mouth.  Most oral practitioners know how counterproductive it is to stop everything to spit out a loose pubic hair.

Be conversive.  Because anal contact, or even anal consciousness during sex can be a turnoff to some, discuss it a little before sex, or with caution during sex.  If a partner is reluctant or unwilling, drop the issue and don't push it--don't even ask why. Your partner will volunteer the reason if he/she wants.  If your partner refuses, it can be for one or more of many good reasons--insecurity about hygiene, bowel irritation, gas, or knowledge of a contagious condition.
     If you want to request anilingus from your partner, but you're not sure where he/she stands on the issue--simply ask in a gentle, nonthreatening way, like below:

During sex (best while you're receiving oral sex):  "Sweetie, would you be comfortable licking any farther back? It's OK if you'd rather not."

Before sex:  "You like giving oral sex?  I love receiving oral.  In fact, I've recently wanted to see what a rim job would feel like.  Would you be interested in trying that?  It's OK if you're not."

Anilingus Techniques

With beginners, it's best to not begin anilingus until the partner is well stimulated.  You should also continue the genital stimulation during the anilingus--jerk off your partner's cock, or continue rubbing her clit or G-spot with a finger.  Also, unless your partner already enjoys full penetration, refrain from trying ot spear the anus with your tongue--much more pleasure will be derived from actual licking.
     Don't expect your partner to rave about the pleasure right away.  For some, the pleasure isn't immediate.  It sometimes takes a minute or more to mentally relax enough to be receptive to the stimulation.
     Though I gave these techniques names, you don't necessarily have to be calling them out to your partner--just lick some ass.

Back to front / front to back licking.  Start off with light pressure, and repetitive, one-directional strokes.  Alternate between light and medium pressure, and between frontward licks and backward licks, and ask your partner which is more pleasant.  Regardless what he/she prefers, vary the pressure and direction occasionally, but spend most of the time using his/her favorite.  Your partner may even find heavy pressure most effective--but your tongue will have to be in great shape.

Fluttering.  This is a light, rapid flickering of the tongue across the anus.  The point here is to "tickle" the anus. This can be done side-to-side or up-and-down. Experiment with how hard or light you partner enjoys it.

Side-to-side licking.  Done more slowly and deliberately than fluttering. This can be done so that the tongue passes just to the front of the anus, across the anus, or along the back side of the anus.  This isn't normally very effective, but sometimes a wide-tongued lateral stroke that covers the front and center of the anus really works for some.

Twisting.  Press the tongue flat against the anus and tilt your head to the left and right, so that the tongue literally pivots on the anus.  A side-to-side motion can be added.  Recipients tend to either love this or not care for it at all.  As with the previous techniques, it's good to try varying pressures.  This is also a technique that's best to use as the moment dictates--when you just gotta mush your face in there, or when your partner's moaning gets a little crazy.

Circling.  Self-explanatory, and generally not very stimulating.  However, it's well worth trying doing both tight and wide circles around the anus with the tongue in case one of them strikes a good chord for your partner.

Pursing.  This is a little advanced, and not everybody's thing--but sometimes quite effective.  Simply put, you just press your mouth around the anus and suck it to pull the anus into your mouth.  As you repeat this action, the anus will temporarily extend, and usually become more sensitive.  This technique shouldn't be attempted if there's any doubt about your partner's rectal cleanliness.

Anilingus Questions and Answers

I enjoy (or want to enjoy) anilingus with my partner, but he/she doesn't even want oral sex.  How can I get my way?

The issues that repel a person from oral sex have to be settled before you can even begin to approach anilingus.  Read and apply the advice in Sex Tip #20: Fellatio Fears, or Sex Tip #21: Cunnilingus Fears.  You must also be very patient with your partner, and never be pushy.

I normally enjoy anilingus, but my new partner has some bulbous, fleshy protrusion on the anus that freaks me out.  What is that thing?

It's most likely an anal fissure.  It's scar tissue from an injury to the anus.  This is nothing to worry about, and it's not uncommon.  An anal fissure isn't a tumor or miniature butt monster that can hurt you.  In most cases, they aren't even painful for your partner.  As long as your partner is clean, you should be able to get comfortable with his/her anus even with the fissure.  In fact you may find it easy--even fun--too push the fissure back into the anus with your tongue, then proceed to lick.  I wouldn't recommend focusing on the fissure--as it is more likely to feel nothing, and sometimes it's irritable.  Focus on the rest of the anus--just don't worry about the blemish.  In fact, you can learn to appreciate it as you do other physical anomalies that add character.

I want to feel the pleasure of oral sex and anilingus at the same time, but I don't think my partner would be comfortable sharing me with another person.  What do I do?

Actually, if you're male, your partner can bend your penis behind you and alternate between licking your ass and your cock.  But if you need more than that, you can have your lubricated cock stroked while your anus is being licked, or have your partner suck your cock while stroking across your anus with a lubricated finger or a silicone artificial tongue.  You can also find male masturbation devices that simulate blow jobs--you can let such a device pleasure your cock while your partner licks your ass.  Having your partner work with you and assist you in this compound pleasure can bring you both closer together, rather than add the insecurity and suspicion that usually follows experimenting with an extra partner.
     If you're female, your partner can alternately lick your clitoris and anus without much difficulty.  For simultaneous and prolonged stimulation of both hot spots, you can have your partner lick one, while stroking the other with lubricated fingers, or with an artificial silicone tongue.

I want to lick my own anus--any pointers?

Well, if you pull it off, your spine is probably severed, which is bad, because then you would have no feeling in your ass, but you'd fit in your own luggage nicely.

- End -

Related Reading in the Members Area:

• Sex Tip #20: Fellatio Fears
• Sex Tip #21: Cunnilingus Fears
• Sex Trick #20: Introduction to Anal Sex
• Sex Trick #31: Secondary Erogenous Zones