Firegirls.com - Play Alex Firestone's Boob Blaster!

Hints & Tips from Alex
to help you become a Master Blaster!

General Tips

Get familiar with the game. When the game launches and you're presented with the main screen, roll your mouse around to see the different features. Read the "About" screen and the "Scoring" screen. The About screen will help you understand why certain characters are featured. The Scoring screen will tell you which items to shoot and which to pick up.
Play several games, just to get used to the feel. This is not a game where you can score huge without familiarity. Learn the sounds--they alert you to what's coming, not just to what's happening. Get accustomed to the controls: rotate right, rotate left, thrust and shield (condom): these are all done with your computer's arrow keys. Firing is done with the space bar. For the free version of the game, these are presently the only controls available to you.

Learn to fly. With a little practice, you can become adept at "flying" your cock. You cannot achieve a significant score without learning to dodge objects, chase and pick up objects, and reposition your cock in the play area. The members of Firegirls.com will be able to play a variation on Boob Blaster, which will be a flying challenge (cock won't fire, but will score points by flying through a changing obstacle course, picking up goodies). Flying with skill and precision is crucial in scoring high and lasting into higher levels of play.

Understand the Bonus Points. The secret to having gigantic final scores (such as 250,000, 500,000 or 750,000) is surviving beyond level 10 and accumulating as many bonus points possible per level. Rather than relying primarily on shooting "baddies" to achieve victory, your key aim should be to make the most of your bonus points.
     Every level begins with 1,000 bonus points, which decrease continuously while you play. You collect these points only if you complete the level. The sooner you complete the level, the more of your original bonus points are added to your total score. But knowing when to wait for bonus-boosting goodies (such as Vaginas, Alex, the Magic Lamp or bonus multipliers) and knowing when to end the level to "cash in" is more important than rushing to collect the original bonus.
     It's possible, in later levels, to score more than 20,000 bonus points in a single level, and also pick up a bonus multiplier, driving that bonus into outer space.
     Regular points are displayed in white. Bonus points display in yellow.

Watch the Edges! Both good and evil come your way in this game, and they always come from the perimeter of the play area. You certainly may fly and fire across the edges of the play area, but the more you do it, the more you run the risk that you'll shoot something you desperately desire, or you'll collide with something you would have rather shot. Also, part of mastering the game is being able to anticipate where the cluttered areas and open areas will be, and that means mentally extrapolating where objects will be before they translocate from one edge to the other.

Keyboard Limitations. If you find you cannot use multiple keys at once (such as thrust, turn and fire at once), the problem is actually your keyboard, not the game. Many laptops and bargain keyboards cannot log multiple simultaneous keystrokes (except with particular control keys). The solution for this, which can be helpful with more games than this one, is to buy a decent USB keyboard and plug it into your laptop for the purpose of gaming. A quality keyboard can cost as little as $20, and will eliminate all input obstacles. There are, of course, gaming laptops that use higher quality keyboards, but buying a high-end laptop is 150 more expensive than an extra keyboard.

Loss of Control. Sometimes when playing the "normal-sized" game, which has the game embedded in a web page, if you click outside the play area the game will stop responding to your keyboard. To regain control of the game, click back inside the play area with your mouse (you probably will not see the mouse when it's in the play area because the game commands the pointer to vanish). This shouldn't be a significant problem as thee mouse is not required during the game, though you might keep this pointer in mind in case you pause the game to handle other computer tasks.

Level-by-Level Hints

EARLY LEVELS (1-5)

Level One. It's just you and the boobs. It's [almost] useless to wait around for anything to come out. You're better off shooting all the boobs and clearing the level as fast as possible. Don't rush too much, as it's not worth risking your life or wasting a condom on such a low-scoring level.

Level Two. Your first multiplier is almost guaranteed to come out, as is your first porn collectible. It is worthwhile to not complete the level until you've picked up at least the porn (which gets you an early start toward earning an extra cock). You might also score an extra condom, lube, and ointment. Just watch out for the herpes virus.

Level Three. While you may or may not get other goodies, you're highly likely to see your first vagina on this level. Even if you get a multiplier and a vagina, you might not want to end the level to cash in the bonus points too soon as porn is likely to come out. Wait around for the porn for a little while. If you don't give up any porn opportunities early in the game, you can earn a spare cock by level 6, which you will be thankful for as upper level play gets significantly more challenging.

Level Four. You will most likely encounter your first ass on this level. Unless you're simply not in the mood, let it fire out a few objects before destroying it. The projectiles the ass fires are generally easy to shoot and worth far more points than boobs. You will also see multipliers of higher value emerge, and if you haven't encountered a diseased vagina yet, you might before this level is over. Since you won't yet have lots of condoms or cluttered playing fields to clear, I recommend shooting the early-level sick vaginas, rather than condom-fucking them.

Level Five. By now you might see multipliers as high as x5. You will also notice that the number of boobs per level are starting to present a challenge. Though unlikely, it's also possible to have more than one vagina come your way if you wait long enough. But wasting your bonus points on the off chance of multiple encounters isn't the best strategy.
You might also find yourself visited by me (Alex Firestone), or at least my head. Anyone who has seen me in action in a Firegirls.com movie realizes that my real life weenie shoots an extraordinary amount of ammunition. Thus, when you pick up the Alex head, your cock becomes endowed with rapid fire (four shot bursts). You now have increased destructive capacity, and 1000 extra bonus points.

INTERMEDIATE LEVELS (6-10)

Level Six. Much the same as Level Five, but with one more boob to deal with. It's possible you'll encounter a fast-moving vagina by this point (they're worth 10,000 bonus points, if you can catch them). If you have done well, you might have collected all five porn collectibles by this point, earning an extra cock (listen for the prolonged harp sound--that's heaven granting you another penis). A new foe might also address you--the chomping teeth.

Level Seven. Usually this is where you will encounter your first magic lamp. By this point, you might encounter a vagina, Alex and a magic lamp all in one level, making it possible to earn 10,000, even over 20,000 bonus points before scoring a multiplier. Waiting around for goodies is highly encouraged.

Level Eight. More of the same, but beware, sooner or later you're going to face your nemesis, the Rival Cock. That sum'bitch can kill you, lobbing shots over the boobs. Your condom will protect you from "head" shots, but you must shoot that bastard twice to get rid of him. Unlike the randomly traveling herpes virus, the rival cock can see you (with his one eye) and is coming after you.

Level Nine. By this point, if you've acquired some heavy artillery (triple cock or mortar) from the magic lamp, you might want to blast Alex, rather than pick him up. You will find the triple cock and mortar much more effective in clearing the massive boob population in upper levels. Yes, even with a x5 multiplier, it might be better to stay alive another level than to reduce your blasting power for the bonus points Alex presents.

Level Ten. More of the same, but you will rejoice when you see the green multiplier come out.

ADVANCED LEVELS (11 AND BEYOND)

For all advanced levels, you will find boobs continue to increase in number, and may even spawn new boobs mid-level. Firepower is essential, condoms precious, and maneuvering through the clutter to catch goodies is challenging. But the potential for scoring with these high levels is incredible. I've picked up over 150,000 points in a single level. It is achieving this level of play that one gets the greatest high from playing AFBB. There's nothing like sweeping through five advanced levels with a triple cock or mortar, and managing to score a full set of porn for an additional cock.
Truly succeeding in this game requires a couple of minutes of high-intensity combat and quick reflexes, and then a zen-like patience, waiting for the right moment to jizz the final boob and collect. It's this same mastery--balancing the hard and the soft--that makes a person highly successful in many areas of life, such as dating, investing, career advancement, selling, anything that requires timing.

Feature-Specific Tips

Sharing. The game is free. Whether or not you ever join any of my sites, I ask that you give copies of the game to your friends. The more the game is traded, the more I'll feel rewarded for creating it. I'm sure your friends will love it. It's not too large to attach to an e-mail, and even fits on a floppy disk. If you have a web site, I grant you permission to post the zip file, or link to the game (http://www.firegirls.com/boobblaster), as long as you're not selling it.

Virgin Mode. The Options Screen allows you to switch from regular play (Stud Mode) to Virgin Mode. The Virgin difficulty setting allows the cock to survive one impact from the killer boobs. Essentially, this lets your playtime last twice as long. But high scores are not recorded if achieved in Virgin Mode.

Rotation Speed. The Options Screen lets you increase or decrease the rotation speed of the cock. The default setting is Medium, and I've never found a reason to deviate from that. However, some people who tested the game for me thought the standard rotation was so fast that it made precision aiming difficult. In such cases the slow speed might help, but might make playing beyond level 9 almost impossible. If you can handle the faster rotation speed, you are probably a Jedi.
Rotation is one of the precision actions of this game. An object can zoom in your direction before you have time to thrust out of its way, but often if you rotate just right, you can pivot the protruding parts of your package out of its path.

Background. One might be inclined to think that playing with a black background is easier than with the picture backgrounds. This isn't the case. I score far above 500,000 points frequently with the sexy backgrounds. Actually, playing with the black background makes the objects more stark to the eye, and after a long game, you're a little google-eyed. Play however you like, but for me the fun is enjoying a video game and porn at the same time.

Pause. If you have to pee, press P. Clicking any key, or pressing P again, will return you to the game. You will notice that while paused you can alter some of the playing options (but not difficulty level), or check the high scores, or revisit the cast of characters, or the rules.

Your Cock and Balls. The cock may look humble, but he's a worker. You cannot have more than three shots on the screen at once, and he only fires but so rapidly under normal circumstances. You'll find that at close range he can do great damage to his foes, and learning to score shots at a distance comes quickly (no pun intended). He only shoots but so far, but he's just a cock.
Get in the habit of protecting your balls. It's a good policy in the real world, too. You'll find your balls can come in handy when it comes to picking up goodies. I sometimes find that a goodie is very close to, sometimes on top of, a boob traveling in a similar direction. While I may not have a condom to spare, and I know better than to fly over that goodie, I can fly in a similar path and rotate my balls into the part of the goodie that protrudes beyond the boob, thus snagging it without losing a cock.

Boobs. Bear in mind, these are no ordinary boobs (the fact they don't travel in pairs should have tipped you off). Normally, boobs are good, and a friend to the cock. These are cock-crushing boobs, and you must destroy them or else they'll destroy you. Don't let their looks fool you.
The boobs start off as a large, single boob (a D-cup, if you will), which splits into 2 to 3 medium-sized (C-cup) boobs when shot by your cock drops. Shoot the medium-sized ones and you have 2 to 3 small (B-cup), fast-moving boobs. Shoot the small ones and they pop.

Condoms. You start off with three, but can carry a total of six with you in this game. If you put on a condom and it comes in contact with enemy substance, that condom is spent. However, if you put on a condom without using it, you still have it. Of course you can't fire with a condom on.
     Condoms can protect you against getting your cock crushed by boisterous boobs, terrifying turds, bombardments of ben-wa balls, infections from festering furburger, and the unwelcome jism of your rival. But they're ineffective against gnashing teeth. Keep in mind, CONDOMS DO NOT PROTECT YOUR BALLS. You already knew that from real life.
     Your condoms are not only for your protection, they can help you play more effectively. Here are some ways you can judiciously use your condoms to score higher (pay attention):
     If you've picked up a hefty bonus multiplier (such as a x4 or better), and you have lots of condoms to spare (3 or more), you might wish to use one to fuck one of the diseased pussies that come out. Fucking a "sick" vagina while using a condom grants you 500 bonus points, plus temporary invincibility during and a few seconds after the fucking. With multipliers, those 500 points reach into the thousands. Yes, you risk getting your cock sick (and loosing 500 bonus points) if you don't get the condom on before contact, but with very little practice you can master hitting that condom command a split second before entry.
     In higher levels, when the screen is dangerously crowded with boobs, you might not want to risk further cluttering the screen by firing at boobs, especially if you don't have powerful ammunition (such as the mortar or triple cock). You might choose to expend one or two condoms to pop giant boobs into oblivion, thus giving you more room to wait for goodies, such as firepower.
     Also, when faced with a heavy boob population, you might want to use a condom to fuck even the diseased pussies, so that boobs that might strike you in coitus can be eliminated without getting split by fire. You also might dare to use the first few post-coital seconds to ram boobs.

Porn. Too many video games grant "extra ships" on merit of score alone. I say poo on that. In AFBB, since the game is made by a pornographer, and you're a cock swimming in pornographic panoramas, your key to getting more wood is to consume porn. Makes perfect sense to me. Porn comes out in almost every level, starting with level two. If 1,000 bonus points tick away and you haven't seen any porn come out, you're not likely to.

Multipliers. These are sometimes worth losing a cock. In the early to intermediate levels, you can multiply your bonus by factors of 2 to 5. Beyond level 10, you'll find a green multiplier that loves you even more. These are relatively easy to catch, assuming your cock isn't hampered by obstacles, enemies, or a disease.

Ointment. This pharmaceutical cures whatever STDs you might acquire from unhealthy vaginas, or from whatever (herpes) is just floating around. You can collect up to three tubes of the stuff.

Lube. You might also call it lotion. Either way, when the green pump bottle comes out, catch it. This goodie gives your cock the ability to slip and slide across the screen with ease. At first the speed boost might alarm you, but as your flying becomes more accurate, you'll find the lube is a must for dodging evil and catching good.

Vaginas. There are good and bad vaginas in this game. But even bad pussy can be good. If you use your condoms on the sick ones, you can still score, but fuck a sick pussy bareback and you'll contract a disease that slows you down, makes you shoot less, and costs you 500 bonus points. Shoot the diseased vaginas and collect a spiffy 250 points right away.
The good pussy is easy to spot--fresh and pink. But there's good pussy and great pussy. Good pussy is pretty easy to catch. Great pussy requires some pursuit. The slower vaginas are worth 1,000 bonus points. The mid-paced pink are 2,500 and 5,000 bonus points. The speedy pud packs 10,000.
When a cock is in a vagina, be it bad, good or great, the cock feels alive and on top of the world. Thus, while fucking, nothing can harm the cock. The invincibility continues for a few seconds afterward, too.

Herpes Virus. This snickering little menace isn't hard to shoot, but can still manage to ruin your day. One shot takes him out.

Ass. An unfriendly ass drops trou and blasts its cruddy cargo in your court. With three shots you can destroy the ass, collecting 500 points. However, as much as you might resent the intrusion, destroying its projections is profitable. Coming out of the ass are turds (naturally) and bones (the owner didn't chew well). But much to your alarm are objects coming out that the owner put in: ben wa balls and recently expired hamsters.

Turds. What happens when you shoot a turd? It breaks into little turds. Fortunately you're rewarded 150 to 250 points for doing this dirty work.

Bones. These aren't good for anything but bonking you on the head. Shoot them. Beware, they can be tricky, as their profile goes from wide to narrow as they rotate. It's not uncommon to fire and miss them, even at close range. Dead-on shots always get them.

Hamsters. They are kinda cute, but useless. Shoot 'em. I know. You look at them and say, "Why, Alex? Why?" Hey, be glad I didn't make wristwatches or drug-filled balloons pop out.

Ben-Wa Balls. These oddly-weighted metal suppositories are easily dodged, but shoot them enough and they'll become perilous projectiles. A condom might save you from an impact if you're pointing the right direction, but generally, messing around with these shiny objects will only get you in trouble. For the true daredevil, these balls can be pursued and destroyed by shooting them 25 times. The only other way to destroy these is with a single mortar shot.

Teeth. These chompers are eager to demonstrate their oral skills for you, but what they do is all wrong. Teeth are tough, so it takes five shots to stop them. Destroy them and you have 500 points to help pay the orthodontist.

Rival Cock. He wants to take you out of action. He's coming for you. He's not a bad shot, either. You have to hit him twice, he only needs to hit you once. Why is he red? Maybe raw from fucking that menacing ass. Who knows? What you do know is he must die.

Alex. Your talkative host appears, and when you meet with him, you are bestowed with his powers of monster ejaculations. You're also given 1,000 bonus points.

Magic Lamp. As "real world" as Firegirls.com may be, we all have fantasies, don't we? The magic lamp grants you wishes that would normally never come true in real life, such as having a gigantic, throbbing, all-powerful beast of a cock. Other wishes granted include having three fully-functioning cocks, firing super-potent wads of juice (mortar shots), or getting swarmed by willing pussy. The magic lamp grants great bonus points in most cases, normally up to 5,000. Once in a while the lamp will use all of its magic to blast you with 10,000 bonus points (even if you've already got 10,000 bonus points).