ARTIST BIOGRAPHY: Amanda

Born in Texas, exactly four months after the Bicentennial, my turbulent childhood began. I was a middle child in a large family, six children. Change was constant. My mother married and divorced frequently (currently on her seventh), so men came in and out of our lives. We moved frequently, but always returned to Texas, where my grandparents live--the stable force in my life.

As a child, I enjoyed art and drawing, even participated in scholastic competitions, but was yet to discover my passion for art.

At the age of twelve I began using drugs as a coping mechanism. During this phase I began drawing more frequently to express feelings that were inside me. I became sexual at a young age and was in a relationship with a woman. I would do any drug, but was afraid of men, possibly from witnessing my mother being so subservient. I made drawings of women, and later portraiture of women. I was an extremist. I began using my body as a canvas, carving or burning designs into my skin (self-mutilation).

After being institutionalized several times, I got off drugs at 15, dropped out of high school and moved in with a man that drove me to the point of insanity. At 17, I left him for the man who became my husband. Two weeks before my 19th birthday, I gave birth to my son, and married his father.

The next few years were vegetative. I had no goals, drive or motivation. I became depressed and started looking for help. A motivational speaker inspired me to get my GED. I then signed up for college courses. I wanted to be a horticulturist.

After meeting Dennis Gergel, Jr., I became interested in drawing again. He helped me discover my love and passion for art. I made an A in my college art class and the instructor suggested I change my major to art. Upon meeting the accomplished artist Thuy Pham, I decided to dedicate myself to building a portfolio and try to get into a leading art college in California.

Today, my own art of my youth is still on my body, with some additions. I have a large tattoo on my back from a crystallographic drawing I did in my drug phase.

My art and sexuality are closely related. My love of women and feminist values still shows through my art. My mother's weakness for men turned me against men for a long time. Of course I did learn several years ago that all men are not the same, and I have come to appreciate men (a hard cock really does it for me, and I can't do without one).

But my early fear of men turned me on to female domination. This has led to a lot of experimenting in bondage. I love the feel of breaking a strong willed man and making him submit to me. I also love the dressing up and the accessories. I also enjoy role playing--the opportunity to escape your surroundings and routine identity and puts you in another realm with new possibilities.

Being a bisexual woman, I'm compelled to paint women. I love the curves of the female body and the decorative nature of femininity--makeup, clothing, jewelry, hair, etc. In my paintings and art, I usually start with a visually stimulating image or concept, but the work usually turns extreme as I develop it. Everything in each piece has a reason for being there, everything has meaning. I do not paint the image of a woman because she is beautiful. Though the work may begin with esthetics, the final statement is more intimate, dealing with imagination, personal issues and the mind.